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Google Pizza - Are you ready?

I came across this and had to share!


The future is much closer than we may think. Are we ready for the new reality?



Call Center:         Hi, this is Google Pizza, how may I help you?

Mr.Smith:            Google what?

Call Center:         Google Pizza. What would you like to order?

Mr.Smith:            But I was calling Papa Luc Pizza...

Call Center:         That’s right, it used to be Papa. Google is the new owner, and we are now offering a full range of services!

Mr.Smith:            Great! Can you take my order?

Call Center:         Absolutely! Your usual?

Mr.Smith:            My usual? How do you know?

Call Center:         We have your caller ID; in the last 53 calls from this number the order was for a large Hawaiian Pizza  with extra cheese and ham, and also a super cold large bottle of Coke.

Mr.Smith:            Wow, that’s something new! … Ok, all the same order!

Call Center:         Excuse me, can I make a suggestion?

Mr.Smith:            Sure!

Call Center:         Do you know our new full menu?

Mr.Smith:            No

Call Center:         We have the most comprehensive menu. I would recommend you a cottage cheese and salad pizza with a bottle of low-salt carbonated water.

Mr.Smith:            Cottage cheese and salad? Low salt? I hate these things! Are you nuts?

Call Center:         That’s understandable, it’s for your own health. Besides, your cholesterol is very high...

Mr.Smith:            How do you know?

Call Center:         Our company maintains the largest database on Earth. With your phone number we know your name, and can access your medical test records....

Mr.Smith:            I don't give a damn about your database! I don't want your cheese-and-salad pizza! I take proper medications and therefore I can eat whatever I want, isn't that clear?

Call Center:         Sorry, but recently you weren't taking your medications.

Mr.Smith:            How the hell do you know? Are you spying on me?

Call Center:         Not at all! We happen to be managing databases for all city pharmacies, and the last time you filled your prescription was 3 months ago. And, there were only 30 pills in the bottle.

Mr.Smith:            Damn your right! But how did you know?

Call Center:         From your credit card records...

Mr.Smith:            What?

Call Center:         Well, every time you pay with your points credit card at the pharmacy, you get a discount. We maintain all the records. Over the last 3 months, you haven’t purchased anything at the pharmacy, but used your card in other places. Which means, you haven't lost or replaced it.

Mr.Smith:            Son of a gun… But what if I paid cash? Ah?

Call Center:         Impossible. You’re only paying cash $100 a week to your maid. As for the rest, you are only paying with your credit card

Mr.Smith:            You bastards! How do you know how much I'm paying to the maid?

Call Center:         Well, she is paying social insurance...

Mr.Smith:            Go to hell!

Call Center:         It's up to you. Sorry for your disappointment, but all this information is right at my screen, and I'm only trying to be helpful. You'd better visit your doctor, and fine-tune your dosage according to your last month tests...

Mr.Smith:            Listen, you… I’m fed up with you, your computers, your databases and the Internet! And Google, and Facebook, and Twitter, and no privacy in this 21st century, and the Big Brother watching …

Call Center:         Please, take it easy.. Getting frustrated doesn't do you any good...

Mr.Smith:            Shut up! I’m leaving tomorrow! I will go far, far away from all this crap. To a remote island, wherever, without the Internet, computers, phones and people spying on me...

Call Center:         I understand you...

Mr.Smith:            For the last time I'll use my credit card to buy my airline ticket to the very end of the earth!

Call Center:         Good...

Mr.Smith:            Cancel my pizza order. I no longer want it!

Call Center:         Sure, all done! But if you allow me, one last thing…

Mr.Smith:            WHAT?!

Call Center:         I would like to remind you that your passport has expired.


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